Sina Diaries 2: Trying to figure out disaster…

Lampion, Herz, Leuchten, schwarz, Wien
There is always another day. That’s what I used to believe once. I used to live accordingly. Believing there would always be another day to pursue your dreams. That I would always have time. And then, three years ago, this believe proofed to be the biggest lie of my existence.
Sometimes there isn’t another day. Sometimes you had no time to be brave later but live with your cowardice instead. And sometimes everything you didn’t say, hurt more than all the things you said. Weiterlesen

Suicide

It hurts. Nothing even feels remotely right. The only thing that remains are the questions you can’t answer. Why did you do it? What did I miss? How could I’ve prevented it? Could I’ve changed it?

And the one question of course that always crawls out of the dark: Why did I not see it coming?

The answer is as simple as it is cruel: Because there was nothing to be done. But knowing that doesn’t mean that you’ll ever be able to accept it. The only thing that will fade with time is the hurt and if you’re strong, the self-reproaches. The pain will dim down with time but never truly leave you. Weiterlesen