There is this part of me that still hopes. Deep inside in the back of my mind still is something that thinks „maybe – just maybe – some day things will change“. But the rational, realistic part of me knows that I’m only kidding myself. You just aren’t interested and I really truly need to suck it up and deal with it. Weiterlesen
I’m gonna miss the stories I made up about you in my head. They were good and they were promising. It’s a pity they were just fiction after all. Maybe if I write them down from now on and create a story around it, they will not be lost after all.
Fiction after all is the safest place to be. No one can hurt me inside my head. No one can crush the happy endings with reality. I will always miss you. Some part of me – small as it may be – will always stay with you. But the rest from now on will be fiction.
There’s a reason why they call me lunatic after all.
So I did not ask in case you are wondering. I could say that I was afraid of an answer and well, that’s part of it -a huge part of it actually. But you can’t just ask a question like that. You can’t just blurt it out. You’ll have to find a moment when both courage and timing are right. Or at least that’s what I keep telling myself. But still I can’t bring myself to give up, not yet. Weiterlesen
Okay so maybe I’m more than a little crazy. But to understand why I am the way I am you have to know one thing about me: I do think & rethink – live and re-live about ten different stories in my head. Every day. And still I can’t write them down – at least not entirely. All because I’m trying to avoid the one story I fear I migh have to finish first. The one about you. The one that makes me cry. The one that drives me crazy. So let’s hear it from the ghost that is the reason I stopped dreaming. Weiterlesen