Besser. Das Wort vor dem es mir am meisten graut. Besser. Die eine Sache die jeder von mir möchte. Ich soll mich besser fühlen. Bessere Entscheidungen treffen. Besser sein. Doch es sieht aus, als wäre „besser“ die eine Sache, die ich absolut nicht sein kann.
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I convinced myself that I was over this. Now look at me. Sitting in front of my computer, wearing headphones and pretending to listen to music. When in fact I’m waiting. Just waiting to hear your voice.
And there he is.
I sigh inwardly and then hit myself mentally.
I do NOT – I repeat NOT – care that he is back. I do NOT wish for him to come over like he did before. Weiterlesen
I can’t get past it. Can’t snap out of it. There is too much and too less at the same time. The only way to deal with it is to disappear. I just don’t really know where to.
Sometimes pain has more than one cause. Multiple ones indeed summing up until you reach the point of no return. Sometimes it grows until you can’t remember anything past it. It just grows and gets more each day until it becomes too big to conceal. I just can’t pretend that I am okay anymore. Because I am not, haven’t been in a while now. Weiterlesen
You ask me if it’s about you and I answer: „No.“
I’m not angry at you. I’m just a little disappointed. But don’t worry I’ll get over it.
And then you want to know if it’s about somebody else and I say: „No.“
I’m not angry at anyone really, just done with this game. Weiterlesen