Right now, is not a good time to have an anxiety disorder. Unfortunately, right now is also one of the rare times that being afraid is justified. It’s almost impossible to escape news about new infections, deaths or the continued spread of COVID-19. On the other hand, as always, being afraid is not really helpful.
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For a while I did not know what I should be writing about. Well okay, that is not true. It’s more that there were only two things I could write about: My fear and my broken heart. For a while, I was only able to really feel fear and pain. It’s hard to write about those emotions – especially if writing about them feels like giving them even more power. But I’ve reached a point now where it stopped being a choice and became a necessity.
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I am terrified of everything that might happen. And anything that I might do. Even though I know I would never consciously try to harm myself. Not physically anyway. And I know I have never been allergic to anything and I am probably the worlds’ most cautious driver. Still, I am terrified. Weiterlesen
Mut scheint etwas Einschüchterndes zu sein. Jedes Mal wenn ich mutig sein möchte, erzählt mir jemand, warum ich gerade jetzt lieber nicht mutig sein sollte. Was alles schiefgehen könnte, wenn ich gerade jetzt mutig wäre – und irgendwann habe ich offenbar angefangen zuzuhören.
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Es heißt immer, der Welt fehle es an Intelligenz – dass unser Land von Deppen zugrunde gerichtet würde. Aber ich denke nicht, dass mangelnde Intelligenz unser Problem ist. Im Gegenteil. Wir haben eine Menge intelligenter Menschen mit brillanten Ideen – und zu viele davon nutzen ihre Intelligenz vor allem dafür, sich selbst zu bereichern. Woran es uns wirklich fehlt, ist Mitgefühl.
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Sicher. Sei dir sicher. Sichere dich ab. Versichere dich. Du weißt schließlich nicht, was alles passieren könnte. Doch je mehr du dich absicherst, versicherst und je mehr du auf Nummer Sicher gehst, desto unsicherer fühlst du dich. Und all deine Sicherheit nützt dir am Ende auch nichts, wenn du heute dein Haus verlässt und dir der Blumentopf vom Nachbarsbalkon auf den Schädel kracht. Denn wirklich sicher ist am Ende immer nur eines: Der Tod.
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Wenn ich einmal groß bin…wenn ich einmal mit der Uni fertig bin…wenn ich endlich einmal einen echten Job habe…wenn ich einmal Urlaub habe… Wenn ich einmal – ja, wenn ich nur mal anfangen würde, dann würde sicher auch alles irgendwie gut.
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Drawing a picture is like revealing a piece of your soul. No matter how far away the image you create is from yourself, not matter how insignificant – it always bears your personal touch, your imagination, your creativity…a piece of your soul. At least that is how Cathy always felt about it. Weiterlesen
Do you know who you really are? Are you truly yourself or are you hiding behind a mask? Masks are what we were taught to wear all our lives. When we were little they told us to behave, to adjust, to fall in line. So we learned to hide parts of our true self behind a mask – little parts at first, but more and more over the years. Until it became almost impossible to differ that mask from ourselves. Weiterlesen
There is always another day. That’s what I used to believe once. I used to live accordingly. Believing there would always be another day to pursue your dreams. That I would always have time. And then, three years ago, this believe proofed to be the biggest lie of my existence.
Sometimes there isn’t another day. Sometimes you had no time to be brave later but live with your cowardice instead. And sometimes everything you didn’t say, hurt more than all the things you said. Weiterlesen
