Repeat

I did it again. Though I should really know better by now. But where you are concerned I’m simply unfit to plead.

So what did I do? I went away and still thought about you every minute. Nothing there reminded me of you and still everything did. It’s like a curse that my mind seems to always find ways to associate random stuff with you.

After one day of denial I just gave in and did something for you. At this point it doesn’t even matter if you suspect something because really, you telling me to back off would be a fucking relief.

You liked it but said nothing else. But that’s just the same as you liking me. I know you do. Problem is: I fancy you. Like mad. And I simply can’t do anything about it.

Idiocy

Stockholm (c) D. ReichertI do miss you. You have no idea how much.
So maybe I should just grab the damn phone and call you? But what if she answers? What if I fuck it up once again?

Too many “what ifs” – I know I should do something instead. It’s just that the longer I think about it, the more reasons for not doing anything pop into my head. I watched you go once and it broke everything inside me. There are still some broken fragments left inside of me and yeah I guess they will keep being that way.

You are not coming back. That you made very clear seven years ago. And this time you did stick to it – burned a bridges down right behind you. And me? I didn’t do anything. I just moved on and buried a huge dream along with it. Weiterlesen