Bubbly. That’s how I feel when I am happy. Like there are a million different little colorful, shiny bubbles bouncing around in my mind. Making me hop, and hum, and smile, and dance, and everything a little less scary. It’s been a very long time since I felt those bubbles – now they are everywhere. Weiterlesen
Depression
GOING CRAZY
Crazy is a pretty relative term, isn’t it? There are things that I see as completely crazy while everyone else seems to think they are perfectly normal. Like being completely content in existing within marked-out parameters, never questioning anything about why they are there in the first place. Weiterlesen
DEAR DIARY, I’M NOT OKAY
How are you? For me that is the hardest question ever. The honest answer to it will make the person who asked uncomfortable. Because I am not okay. Not really. And I have not been for quite some time. This text is the answer I am usually too afraid to say. Weiterlesen
EVERYDAY NIGHTMARES
Pretend. Is there anything we do that is not make-believe? According to our Instagram-, Facebook-, Twitter- or what-not-account, we are basically rock stars. Always doing something exciting, always eating fancy stuff, always capturing just the right sunsets, landscapes, moods or whatever else we can take a picture of. But is it the truth or is it just pretend? Weiterlesen
What is wrong with me?
I keep telling myself that it’s going to be okay. Someday it will all be okay. One day I will be like them and find a way to grow into someone I can like. Someone that someone else might like. The problem is that words are so easy but oh so empty if you don’t really believe them, and I really don’t. Weiterlesen
Be like everyone else, even if it kills you
What if all you are is never enough? There is all you could have, if you could just be someone different. Someone smarter. Someone tougher. Someone braver. Someone with more discipline. Someone smaller. Someone thinner. Someone who matters. Because all I feel doesn’t matter, not to anyone but me. Weiterlesen
ALL THE LONELY PEOPLE
There is nothing lonelier than standing in the middle of a partying crowd and still being completely alone. I didn’t come here with anyone. I just came to listen to the music. To see one of my favorite bands, something I had wanted in forever. But it’s still just me. Alone in a faceless crowd of cheering people.
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Unchanged
Life is complicated. Life is messy. And more often than not, it is also utterly frustrating. Because life always goes on. No matter how much you mess up, no matter how much the past haunts and no matter how much you regret everything you didn’t do. Until it doesn’t. And then it is too late to change. Weiterlesen
ANXIETY
I am terrified of everything that might happen. And anything that I might do. Even though I know I would never consciously try to harm myself. Not physically anyway. And I know I have never been allergic to anything and I am probably the worlds’ most cautious driver. Still, I am terrified. Weiterlesen
EASY LIES YOU KEEP TELLING YOURSELF
You don’t know me. And if you did, you wouldn’t want to. Because I’m not someone people like. I’m the one they talk about once I’m away. I’m the bad example, the pathetic one. The one that everybody just leaves behind. That’s all the voice inside my head keeps telling me. And that voice makes it so easy to believe. Weiterlesen
