Shyness is a very effective way of blocking even your best ideas. In some cases it’s not only hindering, but paralyzing – painful even. It keeps you from being the person you want to be. Or at least that’s how she likes to see the world. Weiterlesen
Nearly there is not good enough. This applies for missed changes, unspoken words and actions not taken, no matter how much it hurts afterwards. Still, even after it’s already over – after you slammed the door shut and threw the key away – even then, the stupid question “What if” might not stop bugging you. Weiterlesen
Let me tell you a story. No, I won’t bother you with that. There actually is no story. Not yet and there will never be one, probably. Thing is: I made a wish and I somehow made it on you. Which is totally insane and totally inappropriate and well…it’s me. So yeah, I made wish, and damn my stupidity, I made it on you. Weiterlesen
How do you cut someone out of your heart? Not completely – only the tiny, dumb, obstinate part that will always want more. Sometimes you can’t get over it or move on. Sometimes you are stuck with a feeling regardless of how unwanted or even ridiculous it might be. Weiterlesen
I did it again. Though I should really know better by now. But where you are concerned I’m simply unfit to plead.
So what did I do? I went away and still thought about you every minute. Nothing there reminded me of you and still everything did. It’s like a curse that my mind seems to always find ways to associate random stuff with you.
After one day of denial I just gave in and did something for you. At this point it doesn’t even matter if you suspect something because really, you telling me to back off would be a fucking relief.
You liked it but said nothing else. But that’s just the same as you liking me. I know you do. Problem is: I fancy you. Like mad. And I simply can’t do anything about it.
Some days you just can’t win. And he chose one of these particularly nasty days. In hindsight I shouldn’t have been that surprised.
The day started with waking up at 5 a.m. and no hope of getting back to sleep – after having trouble falling asleep before and so effectively only sleeping four hours total. Then the tyre of my bike went flat and I had to take the damn bus to work. Which meant: I was late.
You think that’s just really bad luck – wait, it got better! After finally arriving at work, about 30 minutes late, I realized that I had forgotten to take the milk with me. So there was no milk for my cereal and since there was no time to get to the supermarket I sat there starving until lunch. Which is probably why I picked a huge fight with my colleague Laura, because she did something wrong. As of today I’m not really sure what it was.
So just after lunch and finally having something in my stomach I was sitting in front of my computer, trying to think of something interesting and witty to write about a Zombie apocalypse. Yeah, you read correctly. My job consists of writing about Zombie apocalypses – or rather: Of writing something about the movie “World War Z”. But not the usual review-crap that everyone writes about. No, it has to be something different – something special, witty and interesting. So yeah, Zombie apocalypse – I was so thrilled. Not.
Actually the only fantasy creatures I am unable to make any use of are Zombies. Simply because I think they are gross. Even if there is a Zombie in love played by Nicholas Hoult – granted he was super cute when he became human again but before? Disgusting.
Zombies are disgusting – they smell rotten, the look rotten, they are just really, really…
My nice inner monologue about rotten Zombies was interrupted so suddenly, that I almost jumped out of my skin. The voice had come so unexpectedly from the left that it took me a moment to remember my name and where I was.
And then it sunk in – THAT voice. But no, it couldn’t be… Weiterlesen
*You think it’s going to change?*
I stare at the screen, thinking about an answer. Telling her the truth? No, I guess that’s not an option. Answering with a fraction of the truth? I don’t see how I have any other chance.
Great answer that should really distract her!
Shut up conscience! No one wants your opinion anyway.
That’s part of why you are in this mess right now!
I’m not going to comment on that! Oh holy crap I guess I really am nuts. Now I’m not only talking to myself but I’m also arguing with my inner sanity. Or in other words: I am crazy. Weiterlesen
„Oh god, she’s leaving us!“
He is smiling at me, eyes sparkling.
Oh please don’t do this.
I force myself to return the smile. “Oh no, what shall we do?”
“We’ll have to talk now!”
I look down into my cereal.
Damn, why do you have to be so damn cute all of a sudden? Can’t you just go and torment someone else?
Still kidding yourself I see.
Shut up conscience! Weiterlesen
Sometimes the answer to a question is going to change your life. Forever. And sometimes you just think it does but in truth it just brings you back to where you started. Again. Weiterlesen
I like you. I really do – probably a whole lot more than I should. Even if you are mean, lash out at me or ignore me. It drives me crazy if you are not here. And then I’ll always start to make stupid vows to myself about all the things I want to say to you. But then I never do say them. Weiterlesen