Die Wahrheit ist, dass du mir fehlst. Jeden Tag ein bisschen mehr, bis wir uns wiedersehen und dann wieder von der Sekunde an, in der wir uns trennen. Am Vermissen merkt man, wie viel einem jemand bedeutet. Und es gibt Menschen, die man sein ganzes Leben lang vermisst – obwohl man weiß, dass sie nicht mehr zurückkommen.
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care
A whole new world
Do you know who you really are? Are you truly yourself or are you hiding behind a mask? Masks are what we were taught to wear all our lives. When we were little they told us to behave, to adjust, to fall in line. So we learned to hide parts of our true self behind a mask – little parts at first, but more and more over the years. Until it became almost impossible to differ that mask from ourselves. Weiterlesen
Sunray
It’s easy to convince yourself that it’s fine the way it is. Not really that good but not too bad either. After all it could be so much worse than fine. But easy becomes impossible when you truly start to care. Because the second you care, you have something to lose. Weiterlesen
Phantom Pain
Everyone has their own dragons to slay, their own mountains to climb and their own pits to crawl out of. Sometimes you can offer your hand to help them but mostly all you can do is watch and wait. And sometimes that feels even more painful than getting hurt yourself. Weiterlesen
Questions stupid, questions
How are you? Well, there are so many ways to answer that. But none of them really matters. You don’t know me. You don’t know my story. So there is no point in dumbing fragments on you because you won’t be able to see the whole picture. Weiterlesen
Missed
I convinced myself that I was over this. Now look at me. Sitting in front of my computer, wearing headphones and pretending to listen to music. When in fact I’m waiting. Just waiting to hear your voice.
„Good morning.“
And there he is.
I sigh inwardly and then hit myself mentally.
I do NOT – I repeat NOT – care that he is back. I do NOT wish for him to come over like he did before. Weiterlesen
Turning off
I can’t get past it. Can’t snap out of it. There is too much and too less at the same time. The only way to deal with it is to disappear. I just don’t really know where to.
Sometimes pain has more than one cause. Multiple ones indeed summing up until you reach the point of no return. Sometimes it grows until you can’t remember anything past it. It just grows and gets more each day until it becomes too big to conceal. I just can’t pretend that I am okay anymore. Because I am not, haven’t been in a while now. Weiterlesen
Pretender
You ask me if it’s about you and I answer: „No.“
I’m not angry at you. I’m just a little disappointed. But don’t worry I’ll get over it.
And then you want to know if it’s about somebody else and I say: „No.“
I’m not angry at anyone really, just done with this game. Weiterlesen
Hard to care
Sometimes it is harder to forget all the things you did NOT do, than the ones you did. All the words you didn’t dare to say and all the small matters you didn’t think worth addressing. And now it’s far too late, because it wouldn’t make a difference anyway. Weiterlesen
