I wrote so many texts about being different, but I never seem to get it right. Today, „be different“ is a marketing slogan for all of those who don’t want to be different at all. Just stand out a tiny little bit, never really and never too much, because if you are too different you become just weird and nobody wants to be weird. Except me. Weiterlesen
alone
DEAR DIARY: BUBBLES
Bubbly. That’s how I feel when I am happy. Like there are a million different little colorful, shiny bubbles bouncing around in my mind. Making me hop, and hum, and smile, and dance, and everything a little less scary. It’s been a very long time since I felt those bubbles – now they are everywhere. Weiterlesen
DEAR DIARY: CRAWLING
Sometimes I wonder what the heck is wrong with my mind. One second all I feel are little bubbles of happiness and the next my mind has me convinced I am running towards an endless dark abyss that is threatening to swallow me whole. My mind is a liar, I know but that still doesn’t stop me from worrying until my stomach is in knots. Weiterlesen
GOING CRAZY
Crazy is a pretty relative term, isn’t it? There are things that I see as completely crazy while everyone else seems to think they are perfectly normal. Like being completely content in existing within marked-out parameters, never questioning anything about why they are there in the first place. Weiterlesen
DEAR DIARY, I’M NOT OKAY
How are you? For me that is the hardest question ever. The honest answer to it will make the person who asked uncomfortable. Because I am not okay. Not really. And I have not been for quite some time. This text is the answer I am usually too afraid to say. Weiterlesen
What is wrong with me?
I keep telling myself that it’s going to be okay. Someday it will all be okay. One day I will be like them and find a way to grow into someone I can like. Someone that someone else might like. The problem is that words are so easy but oh so empty if you don’t really believe them, and I really don’t. Weiterlesen
Be like everyone else, even if it kills you
What if all you are is never enough? There is all you could have, if you could just be someone different. Someone smarter. Someone tougher. Someone braver. Someone with more discipline. Someone smaller. Someone thinner. Someone who matters. Because all I feel doesn’t matter, not to anyone but me. Weiterlesen
Unchanged
Life is complicated. Life is messy. And more often than not, it is also utterly frustrating. Because life always goes on. No matter how much you mess up, no matter how much the past haunts and no matter how much you regret everything you didn’t do. Until it doesn’t. And then it is too late to change. Weiterlesen
The lost unicorn or the story of 2 friends sort of drifting apart
Do you sometimes dream of someone who isn’t in your life anymore as if they still were? I do. Not daily, but consistently. And then I wake up missing them. Wondering what went wrong, and it breaks my heart a little every time. Weiterlesen
Dear crazy cat lady,
In my head, I have already written you a whole book, telling you in a very passive-aggressive way how much I really don’t miss you. And another one in which I tell you, how much I do miss you. How much I wish everything could be different and we could still be friends. But that’s not how life works. At least not mine. Weiterlesen
