Pretend. Is there anything we do that is not make-believe? According to our Instagram-, Facebook-, Twitter- or what-not-account, we are basically rock stars. Always doing something exciting, always eating fancy stuff, always capturing just the right sunsets, landscapes, moods or whatever else we can take a picture of. But is it the truth or is it just pretend?
I have noticed for a while now, that all people are doing is pretend. Not just on Social Media, but it’s the most obvious there. Mostly, people pretend that they are okay. That life is good and looking in the mirror doesn’t make them cry. That your job is okay. That you will pay off all that dept one day. That it doesn’t matter that everyone seems to live a fairy tale, while you are stuck in a nightmare. What we don’t see though, is that a lot of us seem to be stuck in a somewhat similar nightmare.
We all have a different story and different things to deal with. Things we do not want others to know. If you ever go to a group therapy, you realize just how much it is we are hiding. The beautiful girl with the perfect face and figure is in a toxic relationship with a cheating boyfriend. The older guy with the kind eyes deals with extreme rage fits he can’t always control and is terrified of one day hurting his family. The older motherly woman with two kids just wishes that her husband would hug her just once and tell her it will all be okay. But those are the stories we usually do not get to see or hear, because all of them pretend that life is good.
I used to pretend that I was okay. That I can deal with everything on my own. That I didn’t need anyone. That I could just keep doing what I did because there really was not other choice. Until the day I couldn’t. And when I broke down, I felt like such a loser. Why was I so weak? Why could I not just be like all those other people around me that all have their lives together? Now I’m beginning to think that none of us really – truly – have our lives together. We all just deal with our nightmares in different ways. It’s just hard to see that sometimes since we are surrounded by seemingly perfection.
Every day we see perfect faces smiling at us from some advertisement. We see all the perfect lives everyone seems to live on Social Media. What we don’t see is the lie behind all of it. Most of those perfect models suffer from anorexia – and no one looks in reality like they look on that poster or in that video ad you just saw. Most of the stuff we post on Social Media is make-believe. Because we want to have what everyone else seemingly has. But it is a lie. And once you realize that, it gets a little easier to breathe. At least it does for me.
Maybe it is okay sometimes, to just not be okay. And maybe we should be kinder with other people. We are all dealing with different nightmares after all.