Almost lover

It could have been the wrong time. You were not ready yet. Or it could have been the circumstances – there was too much distance and too much things going on. Or it could have been a whole bunch of other things. But the truth is: It just wasn’t meant to be.

Sometimes a person walks in to your life and makes everything better. And sometimes, we are stuck with a person even if they have been gone for a long time already. There never is reason for why we feel the way we do, it’s not something we can change. You can’t make anyone love you or even just like you, if they just don’t.

I know all that. I have known that for a long while that we were never meant to be. It was not the wrong time or the wrong place or the wrong circumstances – it was you not feeling for me what I did feel for you. I never was the one you wanted and some part of me knows that in reality we would have never worked anyway. But still…but still…

I keep watching all those pictures of you and her. Of you being in love. You once told me that you were incapable of falling in love again. That what happened to you scarred you too badly. You even said you wish you were able to try for me. I guess in the end all it took was the right person. Someone who was not me.

It doesn’t really matter that deep down I know that it was me who ultimately chased you away. There is a reason why I am alone and it’s mostly because I in fact might be the one incapable of falling in love. But knowing that doesn’t make the hurt go away when I see those pictures. Because some part of me always hoped that someday…maybe…there would be a miracle.

It’s stupid I know, but like I said, there is no reasoning with a feeling.

 

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