A whole new world

masks, realityDo you know who you really are? Are you truly yourself or are you hiding behind a mask? Masks are what we were taught to wear all our lives. When we were little they told us to behave, to adjust, to fall in line. So we learned to hide parts of our true self behind a mask – little parts at first, but more and more over the years. Until it became almost impossible to differ that mask from ourselves.

It’s called growing up they say. Learning to behave. Learning to adjust. Learning to agree, to shut up, to become part of the crowd. Play your part in the endless ocean of faceless grey people who spend too much time worrying about all the things they do not have. Tell me, do you know who you really are? Or are you afraid that if you take off the mask for just one second, you’ll find that there is nothing left beneath it? I am.

There are only two people in this world with whom I am comfortable enough to be almost myself. Or to be the most myself that I can be with company. None of those two people are part of my family. Only one of those to people is still part of my life. With the rest I mostly pretend. There is a lot of freedom in not giving a fuck about what other people think or say about you – or so I’ve heard. I wish I could care less, because the truth is, I do care. Too much.

Every time someone tells you to be unique, they actually mean the socially accepted variety: Be just another clone buying more clothes and other bullshit than you need and then paint it all pink so everyone can see how freaking unique you are. The truth is, everyone is born unique – but most people die being a copy. Another very smart quote, but it’s true. Most of us have actually forgotten how to be ourselves. I know I did.

I’ve learned the hard way that being yourself comes with a price. The price of other people not liking you. And I have always been afraid of being rejected for the person I truly am. But the truth is, you can only pretend so far. Trying to be someone you are not is exhausting. As is hiding behind a mask. There might be a whole world behind what they taught us. I guess you just need to be brave enough to try.

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