I like you. I really do – probably a whole lot more than I should. Even if you are mean, lash out at me or ignore me. It drives me crazy if you are not here. And then I’ll always start to make stupid vows to myself about all the things I want to say to you. But then I never do say them.
It’s not something I choose to do. But it’s done now anyway. I can’t stop thinking about you. I can’t get myself to stop dreaming and I know it has gotten really stupid. Me – smiling like an idiot every time you are around – you – smiling right back and then just pass me by. It has become so stupid that everyone just stopped talking about it. And I wish I could just do the same. But then I never do stop.
I like you. I wish I could just tell you. Or you could just tell me. Because I’m counting the days again and start doing stupid things again – and thinking even worse stuff I should not say or do. But there’s the problem. You don’t know me. You think you know a bit about me. But you don’t, not really.
So again you are not there. And again I’m wondering where you might be. Hoping you’ll be back as usual. And again I’m trying to think of a strategy to get the truth. Even if it’s going to break my heart at least then it will be over. I will be able to get over it. But then again – I like you, like you a lot. Why can’t you just like me back? And tell me?
Why does it always have to be this hard to get what you want? I just want to know. And yeah, that’s a lie. I really want you to like me. Really like me – the way I like you.