Soliloquies

Okay, there is nothing worse than a missed opportunity. Oh well, tomorrow’s a day, too. Fuck it, today I’m going to! Maybe I’ll just sit this one out. So, today didn’t work out I’ll just try it tomorrow then. Ah shit, no – okay, so next week.

Wanting something so badly that you can almost taste it on your tongue can be pure torture – especially when you know all that’s separating you from it is yourself. Well, actually not yourself but the lack of courage. Unfortunately that insight isn’t really helping at all. So alright, go beat yourself up again and make a promise that you’ll try it again. Tomorrow. Next time. Maybe someday.

The only thing worse than not having the guts to give it a try is finally finding them – and then realizing that you’ll actually have do it again. Because while your whole universe just circles around this one stupid thing – the other person involved just forgot. Maybe even did so deliberately. But the only way to know for sure is ask again. Get your hopes and fears up again, face your demons and just do it. Well, maybe tomorrow.

Stop caring. Stop acting. Stop being a coward. And finally: Start drawing a line. At this point any line would do really. There is no need to wait around for something you know might never happen. Even if you know that right now it’s everything you want. Stop making a fool out of yourself.

And really, please – stick with it this time! Sometimes getting an answer is not worth the pain. So either you try it or you just start working on a way of making yourself forget. You’ll have plenty of time regretting that decision later.

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