Change is scary, it really is. It’s not so much about changing your life, but the little things that keep us from growing – or in my case, healing. It’s about realizing that your mind is a liar sometimes. That some of the things we clung to our whole life are complete and utter bullshit. For me one of those things is the believe that something is fundamentally wrong with me. That, as a result from this wrongness I am destined to fail. What I didn’t realize is that I was the one setting myself up for failure before even trying. Weiterlesen
LEARN TO FLY
I wrote so many texts about being different, but I never seem to get it right. Today, „be different“ is a marketing slogan for all of those who don’t want to be different at all. Just stand out a tiny little bit, never really and never too much, because if you are too different you become just weird and nobody wants to be weird. Except me. Weiterlesen
DEAR DIARY: BUBBLES
Bubbly. That’s how I feel when I am happy. Like there are a million different little colorful, shiny bubbles bouncing around in my mind. Making me hop, and hum, and smile, and dance, and everything a little less scary. It’s been a very long time since I felt those bubbles – now they are everywhere. Weiterlesen
DEAR DIARY: CRAWLING
Sometimes I wonder what the heck is wrong with my mind. One second all I feel are little bubbles of happiness and the next my mind has me convinced I am running towards an endless dark abyss that is threatening to swallow me whole. My mind is a liar, I know but that still doesn’t stop me from worrying until my stomach is in knots. Weiterlesen
GOING CRAZY
Crazy is a pretty relative term, isn’t it? There are things that I see as completely crazy while everyone else seems to think they are perfectly normal. Like being completely content in existing within marked-out parameters, never questioning anything about why they are there in the first place. Weiterlesen
DEAR DIARY, I’M NOT OKAY
How are you? For me that is the hardest question ever. The honest answer to it will make the person who asked uncomfortable. Because I am not okay. Not really. And I have not been for quite some time. This text is the answer I am usually too afraid to say. Weiterlesen
EVERYDAY NIGHTMARES
Pretend. Is there anything we do that is not make-believe? According to our Instagram-, Facebook-, Twitter- or what-not-account, we are basically rock stars. Always doing something exciting, always eating fancy stuff, always capturing just the right sunsets, landscapes, moods or whatever else we can take a picture of. But is it the truth or is it just pretend? Weiterlesen
DEAR DIARY: HUNG UP ON YOU
Sometimes you do things, despite knowing that they are…well not wrong but with a low chance of ending positively. But still you do them and I can’t help but wonder why. Is it because of some secret need to torture yourself or is it because you hope for a small miracle? I don’t know which one it is, but I just did something that has a high probability of not working out. Weiterlesen
What is wrong with me?
I keep telling myself that it’s going to be okay. Someday it will all be okay. One day I will be like them and find a way to grow into someone I can like. Someone that someone else might like. The problem is that words are so easy but oh so empty if you don’t really believe them, and I really don’t. Weiterlesen
Counting misfortunes…
Have you ever noticed how it seems like everyone is constantly complaining about something? It doesn’t matter what you talk about, there is always something that’s just not right. Something that keeps us from our happiness. Weiterlesen
